I love birthdays, but sometimes I get really uncomfortable when mine comes along. It’s true! On one hand, I love going for birthday gatherings or even better, getting involved in it’s planning (please refer to blog entry "How we duped Jim"). It always leaves you with a sense of satisfaction when you know that you’ve had an effect on the life of a loved one in some way. It’s always a thrill to see the excitement and joy the person is experiencing through your efforts or even presents. Like they say, it’s good to give, but is it bad to receive?
I’ve always felt bad and possibly even guilt when receiving presents and such. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable thinking about the amount that is spent on me. I’ve never been one who asks for much, but I’ve always believed that just by being there is more than enough as compared to giving something and not being there. Perhaps this is why I dislike my own birthdays. I’ve always felt dejected and perhaps disappointment during many of my birthdays as many of them were spent alone, without loved ones, or even simply forgotten. I’m not saying that my family forgot my birthdays though. They tried their best and they have been great. But having a dinner during the weekend with your family and slapping a cake at the end of it isn’t exactly a birthday celebration. I guess I expect too much from loved ones.
Someone once said to me about birthdays, “Don’t expect, hence you won’t be disappointed.” Is that what one should be doing? On one hand, you protect yourself. Conversely, are you depriving yourself of the excitement and the feeling of anticipation of something around the corner? You’d have to sit back and rethink… how much does your birthday actually mean to you? Do you brush it under the carpet and forget that you HAVE a birthday and go about your daily business or do you get out there and make the most of what you have?
Of course… my surprise birthday party last year was celebrated with a lot of happiness. It would be very difficult for me to forget my greatest birthday celebration ever and I owe it all to true friends. Surrounded by a group of friends during my birthday, especially ones whom I hold closest to my heart, was truly a blessing. It erases the pain or disappointment of the absence of loved ones. Sooner or later you forget and move on, but the memory of a great birthday is never forgotten. Little footsteps on my heart…
Nevertheless, Happy Birthday James…
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1 comment:
Happy Birthday to my dearest friend!!
Pin the tail on the monkey and chase your birthday blues away!!
hmm...u might be slightly confused if u have not checked ur emails prior to reading the previous sentence....
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