I lived in my greatest moments, and I relive them in my memory. These moments truly are to be treasured as they carry you through life with a feeling of worth, pride and accomplishment. Here are just some memories I constantly relive;
1. 1997 - Larut Matang & Selama Inter-school District Athletics Meet, SMK Teknik/Vokasional, Kamunting - 400 metres finals. I was in the 8th lane, being the slowest qualifier for the finals. Having finnished 5th in the semis, I didnt event think I would make the finals, but apparently, the heat I was in had all the top dogs. It was nerve wrecking. Knowing that I was the last qualifier meant I was the slowest and to finnish last would have been nothing short of embaressing... and then we were off. I remember thinking, alright, I'll run like a mad man and give it my all. I dont want to come in last!!! Coming round the 200 metre mark I was certain that the other runners would catch up with me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my fellow team mate and another runner from a different school. Where were the other competitors?? When we came to the final stretch, there were only two runners ahead of me.
OH MY GAWD! I'm in third position! RUN!!! RUN LIKE THE WIND! YOU'RE IN THIRD POSITION! OH MY GAWD OH MY GAWD! PUFF PUFF PUFF... KEEP RUNNING! I finnished third and all 3 of us broke the previous record. It was a great feeling, but the 'moment' I remember most in this memory of mine is when I was running round the 300 metre mark with no one but 2 runners in sight and only the last stretch to go. It was an exhilirating experience. After that in the 4 x 400 metres, and as I ran as the first runner, I had great confidence. Going round the 200 metre bend and over-taking everyone else with a smug smile on my face, I was on top of the world.
2. 1995 - Mahkota Parade, Malacca - There was a piano exhibition in the centre of Mahkota Parade. There was a grand piano. I had been practising the piece 'Sweet Bye and Bye' for weeks. Not an overly difficult piece, but sounded quite tough. It was time for me to put it to the test. Me being the big show off at 12, I sat myself at the grand and started making music. A crowd started to gather. The sales girl stood on one side. She asked another bystander if I were his brother. He said no. My dad stood at the far end of the building watching. The memory I treasure most here is of seeing my father, standing there, looking so proud and giving me a hug at the end.
3. 1999 - King Edward Secondary School Hall, Taiping - English Language Carnival. The Choral Speaking Competition. We were third to perform. KE had only gone on. We were up next. I walked from the side entrance into the middle of the room. There was a table set in the middle of the room. I got up onto it and stood up. A little unstable at first, but I was used to it. Then the SGI team snaked onto the stage. I signaled for them to position themselves properly, and then we started. "GOOD MORNING!" *then everyone crouched in and spoke softly at the begining of the sentence, ending it louder and straightening up once again* "poised, on the treshold, of the NEW MILLENNIUM!"... at the end of the performance came a resounding applause. I knew we had done good. We should have won, and though we came in third, we were still proud of what we did. My moment here is the applause. You could say we brought the house down...
4. 1992 - Saint George's Institution (Primary school) - Darjah 3 Hijau - Puan Azizah was announcing the class positions. Saravanesh came in first, I dont remember if there was a second place, though there should have been but out of the blue, she announced my name for third position. Before that moment, I had consistently been number 19,20,21,22 and once number 11. What I remember is her asking me to stand up and getting the class to clap for me because of my vast improvement.
5. 1995 - Saint George's Institution (Primary School), School Hall - I had made the finals of the Story Telling Competition. I had always come in second or third and I was quite fed up. The teachers were always biased, but I knew this year, things were different. I was more confident and I had that desire to win. I came in first, but that was not what I remember the most. What I remember most is the standing ovation I got in the middle of my story telling. I had used my voice and immitated a door creaking open. I had to stop for a couple of seconds before I could continue. It was a great moment for a 12 year old.
6. 2005 - IVDC, Blackpool. Me and Weiqi were seated. The emcee was announcing the finalists of the Novice Standard. Each couple had to get onto the floor immediately. In the Southern Unis comp we had only managed the semis, so we really weren't expecting to get anywhere here at the Inter-Varsity or in other words, the nationals of the Uni circuit. Our number was 413. The finalists are announced numerically. Only 6 finalists. 4 couples from the 200s were called. Mostly Oxbridge couples. Naaahhh... we woudlnt make it. its too tough now, especially with more competition from the north! The next couple was in the 300s. We were just glad to have made it into the semis at the most important comp of the year! Then they announced.. four hundred and thirteen. HOLY SHIT! Both our jaws dropped. We coudlnt believe it. That is a moment I'll always remember. Not the dancing. Everything just went by with me just floating. I had made a final at IVDC. WOW! The impossible was achieved!!
There are plenty more where those came from. However, these stand out above the rest. What goes up must come down, so here are two of my greatest regrest in my short life;
1. 1996 - English Carnival, KE School. I was in the final 4 participants, and only one from my school left. I dont know what came over me, and I repeated a word. I could hear myself spelling it, and I knew I was repeating it. I was telling myself "STOP! STOP! STOP!" But it was over in a few seconds. I had dug my own grave.
2. 1999 - Associates Dip - I had missed the passing mark for an associates diploma with the London College of Music. I had the skills, but I didnt have the necessary knowledge. The practical was a breeze, but my knowledge on music theory was inadequate. It appeared my luck had run out on me.
Sigh... oh well.. shit happens. Life goes on, but it's always nice to just relive our triumphs once in a while innit?
Friday, May 20, 2005
F**K!
I had my conference assessment yesterday at 9.40am which ended at about 10.15. It went really well I thought. I had covered about four fifths of my plan which is pretty good, and I thought I had been clear and concise with my explanations. I came out of the room feeling really good, partly cause I hate conference and it's probably my weakest oral assessment. Yesterday, I thought I had out-done myself in the assessment. Over the phone, friends could hear how pleased I was with how the assessment went.
After that, I came home to have lunch and I wanted to sleep. As of 12.50pm, I hadn’t slept for about 29 hours straight. I had been up the entire night working on my plan and had tried to read up more on the law and practiced a little too. And then came the call. It was the school office. They wanted me to go in again and retake the assessment. Apparently the video tape used to tape my assessment had snapped. *The assessment will be viewed by the examiners on tape and is not marked live* I was horrified!
Here I was, thinking I did really well and that I covered my bases in the assessment in the morning, and then they call me and tell me that I have to do that blasted assessment all over again!! That was not all; they wanted me to get into school ASAP! No time to rest, no time to absorb the shock, and absolutely no time to think! My mind was already quite numb by that time. I mean, I was physically AND mentally exhausted! I was shivering and I couldn’t really stay awake. I had a cup of coffee before I was out of the door again for the 40 minute journey to school. COMMON!!! If they had rescheduled it for another day, maybe I wouldn’t be complaining as much, but to do it again in such a short span and in my state of mind, it was completely unfair on my part. The office told me that it was either I do it today (Thursday 19th May 2005) or come back in a few months to do it.
I was all geared up to do it in the morning, thinking I could give it all I've got and then come home and rest. To do it again at 3.20 was absolutely horrible. I couldn’t focus on the facts or the information. I was not being specific in my explanations because I couldn’t grasp onto the details I needed. I was so confused and I couldn’t control what I was doing anymore... I was going too slowly because I couldn’t process everything my client said fast enough... I only got to the beginning of my explanation as to the plea when my time was up. That was just the halfway point of my plan!!! It was HORRIBLE!! I came out feeling like shit. I had done so well in the morning, and then they took that away from me! I was so tired at that time; I even SLEPT standing up in the tube on the way home! My knees buckled a couple of times. It was so embarrassing, but I was just exhausted and cause it was rush hour, there were no seats and loads of people were standing.
They said they'll take into account that we had to redo the assessment, but really, I don’t think that’s enough in my personal circumstances. I was not at all ready for the retake, and I was definitely not in the same state of mind. I was tired, completely stressed out, highly strung up, shaking like I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms, and I couldn't think anymore. This is so totally unfair!
FUCK!!!
After that, I came home to have lunch and I wanted to sleep. As of 12.50pm, I hadn’t slept for about 29 hours straight. I had been up the entire night working on my plan and had tried to read up more on the law and practiced a little too. And then came the call. It was the school office. They wanted me to go in again and retake the assessment. Apparently the video tape used to tape my assessment had snapped. *The assessment will be viewed by the examiners on tape and is not marked live* I was horrified!
Here I was, thinking I did really well and that I covered my bases in the assessment in the morning, and then they call me and tell me that I have to do that blasted assessment all over again!! That was not all; they wanted me to get into school ASAP! No time to rest, no time to absorb the shock, and absolutely no time to think! My mind was already quite numb by that time. I mean, I was physically AND mentally exhausted! I was shivering and I couldn’t really stay awake. I had a cup of coffee before I was out of the door again for the 40 minute journey to school. COMMON!!! If they had rescheduled it for another day, maybe I wouldn’t be complaining as much, but to do it again in such a short span and in my state of mind, it was completely unfair on my part. The office told me that it was either I do it today (Thursday 19th May 2005) or come back in a few months to do it.
I was all geared up to do it in the morning, thinking I could give it all I've got and then come home and rest. To do it again at 3.20 was absolutely horrible. I couldn’t focus on the facts or the information. I was not being specific in my explanations because I couldn’t grasp onto the details I needed. I was so confused and I couldn’t control what I was doing anymore... I was going too slowly because I couldn’t process everything my client said fast enough... I only got to the beginning of my explanation as to the plea when my time was up. That was just the halfway point of my plan!!! It was HORRIBLE!! I came out feeling like shit. I had done so well in the morning, and then they took that away from me! I was so tired at that time; I even SLEPT standing up in the tube on the way home! My knees buckled a couple of times. It was so embarrassing, but I was just exhausted and cause it was rush hour, there were no seats and loads of people were standing.
They said they'll take into account that we had to redo the assessment, but really, I don’t think that’s enough in my personal circumstances. I was not at all ready for the retake, and I was definitely not in the same state of mind. I was tired, completely stressed out, highly strung up, shaking like I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms, and I couldn't think anymore. This is so totally unfair!
FUCK!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
You Gotta Be
You Gotta Be
Des'ree
Chorus 1:
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry
Chorus 2:
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Readin' the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
my oh my heh, hey
Repeat Chorus 2
Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face
oh oh oh
Remember
Repeat Chorus 1
My oh my heh, hey, hey
Reepat Chorus 2 til fade
Des'ree
Chorus 1:
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry
Chorus 2:
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Readin' the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
my oh my heh, hey
Repeat Chorus 2
Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face
oh oh oh
Remember
Repeat Chorus 1
My oh my heh, hey, hey
Reepat Chorus 2 til fade
Are elephants afraid of mice?
It is a persistent rumour with a whole collection of jokes surrounding this topic. Even 2 housemates of mine think elephants are afraid of mice. Come to think of it, I am unsure as to whether they were pulling my leg or not. I was quite certain the answer was no, but they insisted they were right. Anyway, the discussion got me looking it up on the net.
So, are elephants really scared of mice though? The answer is no. It is only an old wive's tale that elephants are afraid of mice.
According to Richard O'Grady, Director-Secretary of Glasgow Zoopark:
"My practical experience is that elephants are not frightened of mice or rats. In fact, if there is an infestation of hundreds of rats, as I once saw in an old zoo down in England, the rats will even nibble at the elephant's feet when it is lying down sleeping, causing significant injuries."
However,it is likely that the reputation for being frightened arose from the fact that elephants are easily frightened by sudden, unexpected sharp movements. Basically, elephants flee from danger and whatever that is unknown to them. And, as we all know, "A bolting rat moves like greased lightning, and this would make anything rear up."
Also, as one astute observer points out, the great disparity in size between an elephant and a mouse makes it unlikely that an elephant would even notice a nearby mouse.
To end on a different note, I read that a rat can actually last longer without water than a camel!
So, are elephants really scared of mice though? The answer is no. It is only an old wive's tale that elephants are afraid of mice.
According to Richard O'Grady, Director-Secretary of Glasgow Zoopark:
"My practical experience is that elephants are not frightened of mice or rats. In fact, if there is an infestation of hundreds of rats, as I once saw in an old zoo down in England, the rats will even nibble at the elephant's feet when it is lying down sleeping, causing significant injuries."
However,it is likely that the reputation for being frightened arose from the fact that elephants are easily frightened by sudden, unexpected sharp movements. Basically, elephants flee from danger and whatever that is unknown to them. And, as we all know, "A bolting rat moves like greased lightning, and this would make anything rear up."
Also, as one astute observer points out, the great disparity in size between an elephant and a mouse makes it unlikely that an elephant would even notice a nearby mouse.
To end on a different note, I read that a rat can actually last longer without water than a camel!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Gerberas on my table...
Gerberas on my table, brightly coloured petals and sweetly scented nectar, colours of vibrant joy, exploding like fireworks... Elegant they stand, in a bottle on my table, necks of swans so long and slender, with audacious colours, they collide in harmony... Oh what a delightful sight they are, these Gerberas on my table.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Dim Stars
I read this in Reader's Digest and thought that it would be an injustice if I did not put it up on my blog...
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."
Arnold Schwarzenegger on FOX News
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."
Arnold Schwarzenegger on FOX News
Sheffield
Home is where the heart is, and it would be inevitable that most of us would grow fond of places we have lived at for periods of time. My two years in Sheffield saw me growing very attached to it for various reasons. It does not mean I love my hometown any less. It's just that Sheffield will always have a special place in my heart. Here are just a couple of reasons which spring to mind as to why Sheffield is dear to me;
1. My walks alone, especially at Taptonville Road. They were always so calming and somewhat serene. Being alone, I got a lot of time to reflect to myself and enjoy my surroundings... or even walking up and down Northumberland Road.
2. The crazy schedule I maintained before my exams (I.e. Sleeping till 3.45pm, work at 4.15pm till 8pm, having dinner and then sleeping from 8.30pm-11.30pm, waking up and going straight to the library (sometimes by bus and sometimes walking with Lyn... very fun cause we get to bitch).. staying in the library till I cant take it anymore, sometimes up till 9am, then taking the bus home to sleep and let the cycle repeat itself)
3. Dim Sum at Golden Dragon with Lyn. Pigging out even after we've had had lunch somewhere else. Deep fried king prawn dumping... yuummmmyyy... *drool*
4. Wan Tan soup and the "Pak kai' at Mei's Restaurant with the best of company. Best in town!!! Validated by friends.
5. The unconventional dinner conversations with Lyn, Weiqi and Mark.
6. The mad balancing of work during term time (running up and down hills to work and classes), dancing (running up hill with a stereo on my back after work to get to dance within 15 minutes... NOT EASY), and then coming home to work on assignments.
7. Indo mee parties with Lyn.
8. The skyline of the city of Sheffield from my room in Sorby Halls.
9. The offbeat practises... I know I drove them to the ground but it was all worth it.. muahaha... <-- me being sadistic.
10. My room in Crookes. The funky roof, my double bed, my chest of drawers... my walls with my posters, postcards and pictures plastered all over them...
11. The city centre. It's architectures, especially around Fargate and also the shopping 'stretch' there... the Peace Gardens, the Winter Gardens, Meadowhall...
12. Going to the pancake bar with Weiqi and having a large pancake with cheese and ham... MMmMmMmm...
13. Visiting Mark's place and breathing in germs and complaining whilst having endearing conversations and good laughs
14. Beef and Onion and Chow Mein with spare ribs from Jung Ying...
15. The Student's Union. The facilities, the cool hangout areas, the dance practises, the convenience...
16. Weston Park... a stroll every now and then... sometimes I'd go there and have lunch by myself...
17. My performances in Firth Court.. the grandeur of the hall...
18. Dancing with Agnes
19. Arriving home in Sheffield in the wee hours of the morning from a dance competition on the coach with the Sheffield Dancesport Team... I am always overcome by a sense of home, familiarity and happiness to be back.. it's hard to explain.
20. Last but NOT least, my friends...
In short, Sheffield is dear to me because of my memories...
1. My walks alone, especially at Taptonville Road. They were always so calming and somewhat serene. Being alone, I got a lot of time to reflect to myself and enjoy my surroundings... or even walking up and down Northumberland Road.
2. The crazy schedule I maintained before my exams (I.e. Sleeping till 3.45pm, work at 4.15pm till 8pm, having dinner and then sleeping from 8.30pm-11.30pm, waking up and going straight to the library (sometimes by bus and sometimes walking with Lyn... very fun cause we get to bitch).. staying in the library till I cant take it anymore, sometimes up till 9am, then taking the bus home to sleep and let the cycle repeat itself)
3. Dim Sum at Golden Dragon with Lyn. Pigging out even after we've had had lunch somewhere else. Deep fried king prawn dumping... yuummmmyyy... *drool*
4. Wan Tan soup and the "Pak kai' at Mei's Restaurant with the best of company. Best in town!!! Validated by friends.
5. The unconventional dinner conversations with Lyn, Weiqi and Mark.
6. The mad balancing of work during term time (running up and down hills to work and classes), dancing (running up hill with a stereo on my back after work to get to dance within 15 minutes... NOT EASY), and then coming home to work on assignments.
7. Indo mee parties with Lyn.
8. The skyline of the city of Sheffield from my room in Sorby Halls.
9. The offbeat practises... I know I drove them to the ground but it was all worth it.. muahaha... <-- me being sadistic.
10. My room in Crookes. The funky roof, my double bed, my chest of drawers... my walls with my posters, postcards and pictures plastered all over them...
11. The city centre. It's architectures, especially around Fargate and also the shopping 'stretch' there... the Peace Gardens, the Winter Gardens, Meadowhall...
12. Going to the pancake bar with Weiqi and having a large pancake with cheese and ham... MMmMmMmm...
13. Visiting Mark's place and breathing in germs and complaining whilst having endearing conversations and good laughs
14. Beef and Onion and Chow Mein with spare ribs from Jung Ying...
15. The Student's Union. The facilities, the cool hangout areas, the dance practises, the convenience...
16. Weston Park... a stroll every now and then... sometimes I'd go there and have lunch by myself...
17. My performances in Firth Court.. the grandeur of the hall...
18. Dancing with Agnes
19. Arriving home in Sheffield in the wee hours of the morning from a dance competition on the coach with the Sheffield Dancesport Team... I am always overcome by a sense of home, familiarity and happiness to be back.. it's hard to explain.
20. Last but NOT least, my friends...
In short, Sheffield is dear to me because of my memories...
“Asexuality: It’s not just for amoebas anymore”
Many heterosexual people have deemed homosexuality difficult to understand. True that there is a much higher level of tolerance amongst people and maybe some level of acceptance in society, but straight people would probably find it difficult to understand the sexual desire of gay and lesbian people to have sex with someone of the same gender. Conversely, homosexual people would probably have the same problem of understanding why straight people sleep with persons of the opposite sex. But enough of that jabber. The topic of homosexuality is just so 20th century. Move over homosexuality... HeLLoO Asexuality! The homosexuality of the 21st century!
Can you imagine being asexual (unless you ARE asexual already that is)? To have an extremely low, or even no sex drive to have sex with another person. As difficult it is to understand, it do exist. However, it is difficult to ascertain the percentage of asexuals from the general population, as the ideology of asexuality is a new one, which is alien to many. The difficulty arises where people who are unaware of the term and the ideas behind it may not describe themselves as being asexual, i.e. not many would identify themselves as asexuals because they are not presented with it as an option.
So what is asexuality then? Generally, the definition of asexual being "No or low sexual attraction to other people" is widely accepted. "The important distinction between asexual people and sexual people is that asexuals are not motivated to be sexual with the people they find physically attractive (and may not find anyone physically attractive at all)." So even if you have a low sexual attraction to other people, asexual people are unlikely to act upon those feelings.
Nevertheless, that is on the issue of sexual attraction. Asexual people may even identify themselves as homosexual/heterosexual or even bisexual and still find that they fit within the definition of asexuality. This is because asexuality only deals with the lack of sexual attraction. Asexual people may still have a desire to have relationships with other people, though their asexual relationships may not be based upon gender. Many asexuals can express love and feel intimacy even without the need of sexual activity. It has more to do with the emotional and romantic attraction. Some might go on to form unconventional relationships. The possibilities of non-sexual intimacy are vast. Some may desire physical closeness, perhaps cuddling or stroking with their partner, whereas some may express intimacy through talking and sharing their innermost fears and secrets, making each other laugh, sharing common interests and activities or even working together toward common goals. Meanwhile, some might even experience intimacy in other deeply personal ways. Hence, it may seem that asexual people might have healthy relationships if they were based on emotional attachments rather then sexual ones.
However, here is where the discussion gets complex and rather sticky. Some asexual people masturbate and some even have sex with other people. Though they masturbate because they may find it pleasurable, the distinction between asexual people masturbating and sexual people is that when asexual people masturbate whilst thinking of other people, it is purely fantasy. Given the opportunity to have sex with that person, the asexual person would have an extremely low sex drive or even none at all. As for asexual people who have sex, they may also find it pleasurable, but if the usage of sex was an expression of romantic or emotional attraction (love) rather than because you are driven to do so by a sex drive, then that need not contradict an asexual identity.
Therefore, it has to be repeated again that asexual people have a no or low sexual attraction to other people. Finding sex pleasurable does not mean that they would have a higher sex drive. It also must be pointed out that asexuality is different from celibacy and abstinence. If one is celibate for a reason, for example, religious purposes or if they dislike the experience of sex they are not asexual. The distinction between asexuals and celibate or abstinent people is that asexuals are not choosing to be asexual, they just are. They could choose to have sex and would still remain asexual as asexuality is about attractions and not about actions.
In a world where sexuality has been promoted as the norm, it will undoubtedly be difficult for asexual people to come out of their closets. Many have struggled by themselves and some may have even labelled themselves as freaks. However, with the growing awareness of asexuality and with the existence of a culture that is ready to accept sexual variation much more readily than it was before, it may be easier to accept it as opposed to homosexuality where religious extremists continue to condemn the lifestyle and constantly try to arouse and promote homophobia, but that's another story...
Can you imagine being asexual (unless you ARE asexual already that is)? To have an extremely low, or even no sex drive to have sex with another person. As difficult it is to understand, it do exist. However, it is difficult to ascertain the percentage of asexuals from the general population, as the ideology of asexuality is a new one, which is alien to many. The difficulty arises where people who are unaware of the term and the ideas behind it may not describe themselves as being asexual, i.e. not many would identify themselves as asexuals because they are not presented with it as an option.
So what is asexuality then? Generally, the definition of asexual being "No or low sexual attraction to other people" is widely accepted. "The important distinction between asexual people and sexual people is that asexuals are not motivated to be sexual with the people they find physically attractive (and may not find anyone physically attractive at all)." So even if you have a low sexual attraction to other people, asexual people are unlikely to act upon those feelings.
Nevertheless, that is on the issue of sexual attraction. Asexual people may even identify themselves as homosexual/heterosexual or even bisexual and still find that they fit within the definition of asexuality. This is because asexuality only deals with the lack of sexual attraction. Asexual people may still have a desire to have relationships with other people, though their asexual relationships may not be based upon gender. Many asexuals can express love and feel intimacy even without the need of sexual activity. It has more to do with the emotional and romantic attraction. Some might go on to form unconventional relationships. The possibilities of non-sexual intimacy are vast. Some may desire physical closeness, perhaps cuddling or stroking with their partner, whereas some may express intimacy through talking and sharing their innermost fears and secrets, making each other laugh, sharing common interests and activities or even working together toward common goals. Meanwhile, some might even experience intimacy in other deeply personal ways. Hence, it may seem that asexual people might have healthy relationships if they were based on emotional attachments rather then sexual ones.
However, here is where the discussion gets complex and rather sticky. Some asexual people masturbate and some even have sex with other people. Though they masturbate because they may find it pleasurable, the distinction between asexual people masturbating and sexual people is that when asexual people masturbate whilst thinking of other people, it is purely fantasy. Given the opportunity to have sex with that person, the asexual person would have an extremely low sex drive or even none at all. As for asexual people who have sex, they may also find it pleasurable, but if the usage of sex was an expression of romantic or emotional attraction (love) rather than because you are driven to do so by a sex drive, then that need not contradict an asexual identity.
Therefore, it has to be repeated again that asexual people have a no or low sexual attraction to other people. Finding sex pleasurable does not mean that they would have a higher sex drive. It also must be pointed out that asexuality is different from celibacy and abstinence. If one is celibate for a reason, for example, religious purposes or if they dislike the experience of sex they are not asexual. The distinction between asexuals and celibate or abstinent people is that asexuals are not choosing to be asexual, they just are. They could choose to have sex and would still remain asexual as asexuality is about attractions and not about actions.
In a world where sexuality has been promoted as the norm, it will undoubtedly be difficult for asexual people to come out of their closets. Many have struggled by themselves and some may have even labelled themselves as freaks. However, with the growing awareness of asexuality and with the existence of a culture that is ready to accept sexual variation much more readily than it was before, it may be easier to accept it as opposed to homosexuality where religious extremists continue to condemn the lifestyle and constantly try to arouse and promote homophobia, but that's another story...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Agnes and Weiqi
My two fave gals at dance comps... Agnes, my Latin dancing partner whom I have shared many great moments with and Weiqi, my favourite Ballroom dancing partner, who gave me the most memorable Inter-Varsity Dance Comp!
At Sheffield's corner
Just a bunch of friends... from left, Elaine and Kerry (dont really know them), Aaron, Agnes, Feng, Fennie, Weiqi and me (dressed up sloppily but hey, at least I'm not in a skirt!)
Male Rumba
Dancing with Isaac in the all male's rumba event.. we did pretty well, making the finals... but my boobs had a mind of their own!! kept moving all over the place! Had to keep fondling myself to make them stay in place.
Cuppa boobs
Me being extremely high on the atmosphere and proud of my God given polystyrene assets... I dont really know what Weiqi is trying to do though...
Manchester Spring Competition 2005
The Sheffield couples didnt make it very far in the rounds as the girls were simply too ugly or rather too masculine... However, they did have good taste in clothing though...
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