death row

I had a really disturbing dream this morning... I dreamnt that I was on death row... I was going to be put on the electric chair.

At first I was fine... I thought I could go through with death... but I started thinking about how I had only 10 minutes left of consciousness... 10 precious minutes left before I leave this world... and when I die, I would be consumed by nothingness... not even blackness... my consciousness dissapears into nothing...

I started to fight it. I wanted to live. I started to cry. overwhelmed by great sadness.. sad that I would cease to exist in this mortal world and there is no netherworld or heaven we go to... I would be dead. I think I thought of KK briefly.. how I couldnt spend my life with KK... it was very frightening...

a very atheist approach I know.. suprising for someone who comes from a very religious family I think...