What if?

It's mid August.
Time is the enemy and I must make haste.
But what if?
It haunts me.
All the time.
Everywhere.
On the bus.
On the tube.
In the super.
Always tearing away at my heart.

Time is running out.
I hold everything back, but only just.
I can almost see vultures circling in the sky...
They can smell my desperate dreams.

Cracks are showing and soon I will crumble.
What if? What if? What if?
Is it the end or the beginning?

At night it's worse.
Just before I sleep.
Somewhere between consciousness and my restless sleep.
It remains there.
Taunting me it is.
Disperse it will not.

Even as I tumble down this pit,
Sinking lower and lower,
Into depths of despair,
I wonder in horror,
Is this really it?

The bottom line is,
I am so easily discarded.
Well... it wouldn't be the first time...