Re: Who are our best friends?

My best friend when I was in kindergarten was Gee KB. When we entered Standard 1 at the same primary school, we were placed in different classes. However, he decided that he did not want to 'friend' me anymore. He wanted new friends.

My best friend in Standard 1 was Lim Soo Long. According to my mother, he would tell stories and exagerate them. For example, he told my mother he was sick and out of school for 3 months. He moved to Penang that year or the year after.

My best friend the following year was Seng CH. I even wrote him a letter just for the heck of sending a letter to him despite seeing him in school everyday. I remember I wrote about Austin Pools which is a stream I used to frequent back home. I dont think he replied my letter though. After that we drifted apart...

When I was in Standard 3, I became close friends with Timothy Lim. We used to have sleep overs and trips together. I would follow his family on holidays and vice versa. Once, we ransacked his sister's room and she swore that one day she'd flush me down the toilet for doing so. Unfortunately, we drifted apart after that. Though we still talked to one another, Tim's not one who bothers keeping in touch with anyone.

When I was in upper primary, I thought of very few people as my best friends. Perhaps I could say I enjoyed the company of my group of friends. However no one really stands out.

In Form 1, schools amalgamated. New faces arrived. J. Viknesh, a rival athlete from a different primary school became my new best friend. We would train together and hang out together with our friends. Slowly though, in Form 2 and 3, I became close to Emmanuel D and Viknesh C. We were the 'cool' kids apparently. Our clique were above average students (or so I thought) and rebellious to a certain extent, so that made us 'cool'. I made other friends of course. But these were my friends.

However, in Form 4, when I gained favor with the teachers, Emmanuel started poisoning the minds of my other friends. Both the Viknesh's in the group whom I once called best friends turned against me somewhat. They wanted to disassociate themselves from me. I became an outcast. Betrayed by my 'best friends'. Later though, the group apologised, but such bonds of friendship and trust had been broken forever.

I started mixing with other people and found good friends in Chuan Yi and Benny. Perhaps one could say my 'best friend' after that was Benny. We were always together, doing things together, hanging out together. But now, we hardly ever correspond. We dont email each other or call each other. However, whenever we meet up after months of silence, we act as though nothing had happened.

Though I still do consider some of these people, such as Benny and Chuan Yi, close friends, I do not think I can actually say now that they are my best friends. Dont get me wrong... they are great people and God knows I do love them. However, I believe that college really opened my eyes. I can safely say that Pei Lyn is one of my best friends. We have been friends for what... coming to 5 years? spending 4 of those years laughing and keeping each other company through thick and thin. Really taking the piss out of others (secretly of course). I could be myself. Finally, someone who I could bitch with and know that I can say anything at all and she wouldnt be offended. She was cruel but kind, independant, intelligent, fiercely ambitious and had a burning desire to prove everyone wrong. Shadenfreude like me and enjoys good food like me so those are pluses. We understood each other very well and we still do. Even after a year apart, we're still bitchin.

And of course, I can never forget my dear sweet Weiqi. My offbeat assistant, my ballroom dance partner, and like Pei Lyn, a true kindred spirit. Gentle and demure when you first get to know her, dont be fooled by this facade! She actually has an infectious laugh and quite a sense of humour too! She perseveres and strives to be the best she can be in everything she does. She shares a great passion for dancing like me and also for good food. Weiqi is one of the few people I truly admire. So dedicated, genuine and hard working. She's so sweet you could get a toothache talking to her. Such a beautiful person with a wonderful personality.

Best friends are people who stick by you when the going gets rough or even when you're down and out. Loyalty, trust, good food and great humour is a great combination. People you know you can always confide in. People who will always be willing to help you out when you are in need. They stand by you in your darkest hour and though they may not say anything, you can feel their understanding. They encourage you and believe in you. They dont have to always keep in touch I guess. It's only human nature. Some people are eager to keep in touch and some arent. You cant force these things. If you can pick up a conversation you left off with someone a couple of months or even years ago and feel at ease, then you probably have a close friend. What differentiates a best friend and a close friend is the kind connection you share with that other person. A best friend will share the same excitement you do. They share common values, possibly dreams and even hobbies.

But I believe what really differentiates a best friend from a close one the most is if he or she treasures the friendship as much as you do.