Everyday is becoming more of a struggle. Sometimes I wake up feeling happy and it lingers for the rest of the day, and sometimes, I wake up and the reality of my situation hits me hard and a cloud would hang over my head the whole day.
Still, I try very hard to keep my spirits up. Not let my mood swings get the better of me. But its quite difficult when I think about all that I have to lose. All the "what ifs" start to cloud my mind. When I forget about my blues I start to feel like my ol'self. But something will remind me of my problems and I plunge into depths of sorrow.
Like a yo-yo it goes up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down... hills and valleys? I'm in a ravine. Still, the sun rises everday. Bringing new hope even if my heart refuses to look up into the azure sky. It trudges through the swamp of desperation. I may wear a smile, but it comes with a heavy heart. Everything's become a facade. But there are cracks if you look close enough.
To be happy or not? To keep smiling in the face of adversity? Does everything really happen for a reason? I wonder what awaits me yonder the horizon...
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