How screwed up is that?

Case Study 5

Byron was arrested upon suspicion of burglary at 12, Shelley Street after a witness named him as the person she saw leaving the property at night carrying a television at around 9.05pm.

Later, Brian was arrested as his fingerprints were found inside the house. They are jointly charged. You represent Byron. In conference, he tells you that that evening, he has 3 alibis;

(a) from 7.45pm-9pm he was burgling 14, Larkin Road, Hackney;
(b) directly after that, he went to Brian's home, knowing that Brian would be at 12, Shelley Street, and had intercourse with Brian's wife, leaving at 10.30pm
(c) from 10.45 to 2.45am he was drinking at the Pgi's Head in Walthamstow.

Draft Byron's defence statement.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!